1. Women will admit that they enjoy chicken.
2. Five guys getting together for chicken isn’t gay.
3. You can make chicken with fourteen year-old girls and not get arrested.
4. Petroleum-based lubricant really won’t enhance your enjoyment of chicken.
5. Your wife won’t get mad at you if she catches you looking at chicken on the Internet.
6. Buffalo sauce on your hands while eating chicken - great idea. Buffalo sauce on your hands when you’re watching porn - really bad idea.
7. While enjoying chicken, you’re not as sensitive to noises from the next room.
8. It’s rare to find German bondage chicken.
9. Chicken requires gravy, porn makes its own sauce.
10. At Hooters, both the chicken and the porn leave you feeling unsatisfied.
11. Although both porn and chicken can be called “Hot” and “Spicy”, nobody has yet come up with “Slow Roasted” porn.
12. If you’re starving to death and have your choice between chicken and porn, you’ll still take a moment to think about it.
13. The only time I’ve downloaded chicken was during my last bout of food poisoning.
14. Girls who talk about porn all the time are usually hot and easy. Girls who talk about chicken all the time are usually hot and sweaty.
15. I would still buy Porn McNuggets… but would probably decline the sauce.
16. Even if the chicken was gay, I’m still buying it.
17. “KFC” would probably stand for something completely different in porn.
18. Chicken I prefer after the heads have been cut off. Porn, not so much…
19. My e-mail doesn’t fill up with spam from gay chicken sites.
20. Chicken comes in a bucket, porn makes you come into a kleenex.
21. It’s okay to comment on the size of a farmer’s prize cock on a farm, but not in the back room of the local video store.
And finally….
22. Most people have very little interest in porn that was created by Kenny Rogers.
Porn Vs. Chicken ©2005 Pacifc Coast Hellway
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